Pour Decision #3: Flying Across the Country to Try a Cheeseburger

And booking a trip to California during a record heat wave—genius move.

Just like the real Flying Dutchman, this burger absolutely haunts me (in the best way).

Cashier: “Welcome to In-n-Out! What can I get for you?”

Me: “May I order a whole grilled onion burger with cheese, and a side of fries, animal style, please?”

Cashier: “Coming right up!”

Little did I know that was the moment I handed my soul over in exchange for eternal happiness wrapped in wax paper and melting with cheese.

For months, I’d seen this In-N-Out secret menu item all over Instagram, the Flying Dutchman burger. I’d scroll through videos, seething with jealousy, knowing the closest In-N-Out to Patchogue, New York, is 1,617 miles away. Coincidentally, my boyfriend Chris and I booked a trip to California in September for our 5 year anniversary and his 25th birthday, and guess what? First stop: In-N-Out. Did I plan for us to land at LAX at lunch time? Abso-f*cking-lutely. I ordered my long-awaited Flying Dutchman burger, with a side of animal style fries, and yes, I have zero shame romanticizing a burger.

The Flying Dutchman Burger (or whole grilled onion burger) consists of 2 crispy smashed ground beef patties seared in yellow mustard, layered with melty American cheese, nestled between two hearty onion slices caramelized to perfection. Animal Style Fries are (soggy) shoestring fries topped with chopped grilled onions, more melted cheese and In-N-Out’s famous spread, which is the perfect mixture of ketchup, mustard, mayo, relish, white vinegar, salt and pepper.

I am NOT a messy eater—I will be on the verge of a sensory meltdown if there's anything on my hands. But with this juicy, bite-of-heaven burger, there’s no escaping the mess as it practically falls apart with the first bite. I even dropped half of it on my white pants, but it was still a swoon-worthy experience. I was worried that Chris was going to leave me after seeing me turn into a human vacuum cleaner (he didn’t, phew). This trifecta of caramelized onions, melted American cheese, and ground beef was life-changing—so naturally I had to write about it.

I promise, there is more substance to this story than vivid descriptions of an unconventional cheeseburger. I’ll share some highlights from our trip—from where we stayed to our favorite parts.

With full bellies, we began the trek to our humble Airbnb in TwentyNine Palms. Fun fact: did you know that TwentyNine Palms is home to the largest U.S. Marine Corps base? Our quaint little home sat square in the middle of the Mojave Desert, where our only neighbors were desert flora for miles.

Minimalist, yet intimate, this house kept us alive in the blistering 115-degree heat. The all-white bedroom was dreamy, adorned with the cutest rattan flower-shaped headboard. It opened into a kitchen tailored for two with soft tan, pale blue, and earthy brown accents that paired perfectly with sensational English tableware. A cozy room off the kitchen was outfitted with a simple white daybed and a stone-clad fireplace while breezy white curtains fluttered through the house. Outside, the patio, bedecked with a charming glass table and a rustic copper chandelier offered 360-degree views of endless mountain ranges. We ate breakfast and dinner there each day, soaking in the delicate pink and orange sunrises and sunsets.

We stayed just 20 minutes from Joshua Tree National Park, which spans over 795,000 acres of Mojave and Colorado desert terrain, and offers breathtaking (and breath-stealing thanks to the heat) yet serene views. We hiked Split Rock Trail where we marveled at the natural sculptural landscapes, drove up to Keys View to overlook the panoramic vistas of the Coachella Valley, and wandered through a garden of fuzzy white cacti. With most of the park off the grid, it was a refreshing opportunity for us to live in the moment.

We spent the second half of our trip in LA, kicking off with a stop in Malibu to experience mountainside beaches and crystal-clear waters. We navigated our way through the winding roads of the Santa Monica mountains, and cruised along the Pacific Coast Highway admiring the scenic views. We fueled up on teeny street tacos while watching a basketball game at Venice Beach, hiked to the Hollywood sign (where I overheated so badly I was convinced it was my last day on Earth), and capped it all off at SoFi Stadium for Chargers’ opening game, where I took my boyfriend to see my real boyfriend, Justin Herbert, in action.

Yes, that is me post-near death hike.

Our standout spot? Santa Monica. Fun fact: Santa Monica is the westernmost end of Route 66, which stretches 2,448 miles across eight states. This vibrant coastal city was overflowing with mouth-watering restaurants, stylish storefronts, exquisite boutique hotels, and mesmerizing crimson sunsets visible from the bustling, world-famous Santa Monica Pier.

Dinner at Barney’s Beanery, a local hotspot for nearly 100 years, offered the best fried pickles I’ve tasted, with light, crispy breading and a sharp brine-y finish. The teal blue Georgian Hotel, with its carved white molding, gilded roof, and black-and-white canopies stopped me in my tracks. This chic landmark whispered to me, daring me to splurge next time we are in town.

So, yeah, maybe I really wanted to go to California for that burger. I’d totally plan another trip around it. In hindsight, it was a poor decision—craving that burger cost me an arm and a leg. But hey, the rest of the experience was worth it. Chris and I celebrated five amazing years together and his quarter-life crisis. But don’t worry, there were plenty of tasty drinks poured and drunk—but not all pour decisions have to involve a cocktail, right?